Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
