Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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