Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
