Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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