i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He better not be in your backpack
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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