He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Buhtt sex?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
