porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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