I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
