i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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