I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
