Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
