im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
