U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize