I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize