Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
