well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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