I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize