I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
