Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize