NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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