I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
