apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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