He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
