OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
