do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was confusing and full of hummus
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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