I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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