I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
