thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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