I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize