He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
