ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
