well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
