i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
