My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
