You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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