i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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