sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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