Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need a beard to bite.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
