Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
