is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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