Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
