when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
