Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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