I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
