All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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