the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
