Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
