so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
