I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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