Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
