They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
