peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
