This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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