I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
