you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
