i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
