I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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