I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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