I got chris browned last night
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
