his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
