I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
