no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
