three words: i give head
three words: not that well
either way he was missing a nipple.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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