I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
