I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
