I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
