Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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