It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
