he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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