my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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