Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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