I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
