Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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